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In four days, Cristiano Ronaldo has gone from almost certainly having played his last Man Utd match to being an apology away from returning.
Ron turn
On October 21, Neil Custis of The Sun wrote that ‘FURIOUS Erik ten Hag wants Cristiano Ronaldo out of Manchester United after sensationally axing him from his squad.’
He added: ‘The United legend has almost certainly played his last game for the club after he REFUSED to come on as a late substitute in Wednesday’s 2-0 win over Spurs.’
It was also said that Ten Hag had ‘lost patience and come down hard on the veteran striker’ and wanted ‘either the player’s contract, that runs to the end of the season, ripped up or for the Portuguese to be dumped in the January transfer window.’
By October 25, Custis says Cristiano Ronaldo could feature against Sheriff Tiraspol on Thursday, provided ‘he shows some contrition and agrees to abide by Ten Hag’s rules’.
In the space of four days, Cristiano Ronaldo has gone from having ‘almost certainly played his last game for the club’ to being one sincere apology away from the Man Utd first team again. It’s quite the turnaround.
READ MORE: Source confirms ‘most likely destination’ for Ronaldo as he arrives for showdown Man Utd talks
Shocking pink
A fine accompaniment to that exclusive is the following from The Sun website:
‘Shocking Cristiano Ronaldo stats for Man Utd show why Erik ten Hag might regret kicking him out of Old Trafford’
And dear reader, these truly are ‘shocking Cristiano Ronaldo stats’ which will fill Ten Hag with ‘regret’: Man Utd have a record of 2.21 points per game with the Portuguese playing, compared to 1.3 without him, as well as more wins, more goals, fewer average goals conceded and more possession.
Sounds like it’s Ten Hag who should be grovelling really. Until you dig only a tiny bit deeper. The 11th paragraph onwards, in fact.
‘This gives them a win percentage of 33.3 without him – albeit in a much smaller sample size – compared to 66.7 when he plays.
‘Another factor to be noted is the difficulty of these three fixtures, compared to the rest that include their four Europa League group games.
‘While, counted among the 12 matches Ronaldo has featured in, is the 2-1 win over Liverpool, although the forward only played the last four minutes.’
Right, so you’re comparing the three games against Manchester City, Chelsea and Spurs that Ronaldo did not play, not only with Europa League matches against Omonia Nicosia and FC Sheriff, but the combined 48 minutes Ronaldo was given as a substitute in wins over Liverpool, Southampton and Leicester, when the scoreline did not change after his introduction in any of those fixtures.
How surprising that those numbers would reflect favourably on him. Ten Hag will definitely ‘regret’ dropping Ronaldo now. His response to the forward refusing to come on against Spurs definitely should have been to start him against Chelsea.
They are indeed ‘shocking Cristiano Ronaldo stats’, just not for the reason they think.
Villa holiday
The other big story on Tuesday is the appointment of Unai Emery at Aston Villa. It prompted thoughts of the time Newcastle brought the Spaniard in almost a year ago. Great times.
The Daily Mirror website was reminded of the same, but this feels like a slight exaggeration:
‘It could be argued that Villa are in a similar position to where Newcastle were 11 months ago. They are hovering just above the relegation zone but have ambitions to break into Europe and challenge for honours in the future. Emery can mould them in his image.’
Mediawatch knows Aston Villa’s owners are hardly struggling for cash, nor are they reluctant to invest it, but it doesn’t feel like they’re in a particularly ‘similar position’ to where Newcastle were whatsoever. The Magpies spent more in the January transfer window – their first under new ownership – than Villa have in any window since the summer of 2019.
Get your Phil
As for Emery’s predecessor at Villa Park, the Daily Mirror website have some rare positive news:
‘Steven Gerrard still has chance to replace Jurgen Klopp after holding private talks’
Oh wow. The idea that Liverpool might replace their most successful manager in the modern era with someone a relegation-threatened club have just sacked seems fanciful, but if these ‘private talks’ really give him a ‘chance’ then fair enough.
*Click*
‘Liverpool legend Phil Thompson thinks Steven Gerrard still has a chance of getting the top job at Anfield – despite his humbling Aston Villa failure.’
For fu…
“This Villa situation will slightly affect his chances of replacing Jurgen Klopp at Liverpool…”
You don’t sodding say, Phil. Reckon Liverpool might be ‘slightly’ put off by Gerrard failing in his first Premier League job at a smaller club with lesser expectations?
As for those ‘private talks’, Klopp said that he “had a little exchange” with Gerrard after his sacking, “but nothing too deep, not a long conversation”. Sounds like a resignation.
Mullin it over
’39-goal former Liverpool striker reveals custom boots with x-rated message to Tory party’ – Liverpool Echo.
That ’39-goal former Liverpool striker’ would be Paul Mullin, who was released by the club’s academy before he turned 16 and who has apparently scored 39 goals in 54 league games for Wrexham despite actually scoring 37 in 52.
He also has never played for *checks notes* Morcombe.
Aside from that, spot on.
Breaking news
‘Manchester United hero Michael Carrick breaks silence on Middlesbrough appointment’ – Manchester Evening News.
The quotes in question were literally given as part of the story which announced his appointment on the official Middlesbrough website. What ‘silence’?!
Sensitive opening paragraph of the day
‘KURT ZOUMA scored his first goal since THAT shameful cat-kicking video as West Ham benefited from two PURR-fect VAR calls’ – The Sun.
Between that and writing that ‘while the poor cat felt the full force of his boot, ten of his 11 Prem goals have now come via his head,’ it’s great to see the nation’s best-selling newspaper deal with such a delicate subject so tactfully.